Real Texas Chili

Got this from a friend at Maxicare in April, 1988. (in the '80s all caps wasn't shouting it was the default). She was from Wisconsin, but dated a guy from Texas where she got this recipe. I used it and won the company chili cook off that year (the judge was also from Texas... hmmm are you thinking what I am?)

THERE ARE A FEW RULES WHICH MUST BE FOLLOWED IN ORDER TO MAKE THIS A SUCCESS. FIRST, WHILE COOKING YOU MUST BE PROPERLY DRESSED IN BLUE JEANS TUCKED INTO SNAKE SKIN BOOTS, A PLAID SHIRT (NO BUTTONS! SNAPS ONLY.), GREEN SUSPENDERS, A RED BANDANA AROUND YOUR NECK WORN--WHAT ELSE BUT--COWBOY STYLE, AND LAST BUT NOT LEAST, A COWBOY HAT. SOCKS ARE OPTIONAL.

HERE’S THE RECIPE:

SPICES:

  • 1 TSP DRY MUSTARD

  • 1 TBSP GROUND CORIANDER

  • 1 TBSP GROUND OREGANO

  • 1 TBSP PAPRIKA

  • 1 TBSP CRUSHED BASIL LEAVES

  • 2 TBSP GROUND CUMIN

  • 2 TBSP SALT

  • 6 TBSP GROUND CHILES OR CHILI POWDER

  • ????? GROUND CAYENNE PEPPER

MEAT/OTHER INGREDIENTS:

  • 4 LBS CHUCK, ROUND OR SIRLOIN STEAK (ARMADILLO FOR THE VERY BRAVE)

  • 1 VERY LARGE RED ONION

  • 12 OZ. TOMATO PASTE

  • 8-10 LARGE GARLIC CLOVES

  • 1/2 CUP FRESH CILANTRO (THIS IS A MUST!!!!!)

  • 3-4 BOTTLES OF BEER

DIRECTIONS:

1. CHOP THE ONION FINE, CHOP THE CILANTRO EVEN FINER, THE SIZE OF DRIED. PARSLEY FLAKES. IF YOU CAN’T FIND "" FRESH"" CILANTRO, DON’T BOTHER WITH THE DRIED KIND 'CAUSE IT'S JUST NOT THE SAME. FEAR NOT, HOWEVER, YOU STAND A SLIGHT CHANCE OF WINNING WITHOUT IT.

2. MINCE (SMASH, CRUSH, GRIND) THE GARLIC

3. TRIM MOST OF THE FAT FROM THE MEAT AND CUT IT INTO THUMBNAIL-SIZED CHUNKS. ALTHOUGH MEAT COUNTERS HAVE WHAT THEY CALL "CHILI MEAT", YOU'LL END UP WITH THE TEXTURE OF HAMBURGER. THE TYPE OF MEAT YOU USE DEPENDS ON HOW MUCH TIME YOU HAVE FOR SIMMERING THE CHILI, WHICH STARTS AFTER THE SPICES HAVE BEEN ADDED. THE LESS TIME YOU HAVE, THE BETTER THE CUT OF MEAT THAT SHOULD BE USED. THE MEAT SHOULD BE VERY TENDER WHEN THE CHILI IS SERVED. GENERALLY, YOU SHOULD SIMMER THE BREW ABOUT 4+ HOURS FOR CHUCK, ABOUT 3 HOURS IF YOU USE ROUND STEAK AND 1-1/2 TO 2 HOURS FOR SIRLOIN.

4. COMBINE ALL THE SPICES EXCEPT THE CAYENNE PEPPER. FOR A BETTER MINGLING OF FLAVORS, USE GROUND SPICES WHERE THE RECIPE CALLS FOR THEM. AS FOR THE GROUND CHILES, TRY TO FIND CHILI "PEPPER" GROUND FROM VERY MILD CHILE PEPPERS. UNLIKE THE CHILI POWDER FOUND IN SUPERMARKETS, GROUND CHILI PEPPER HAS NO ADDED SPICES SUCH AS CAYENNE PEPPER, OREGANO, CUMIN, ETC. YOU CAN FIND IT AT MEXICAN GROCERY STORES AND AT TRUE SPICE SHOPS. IF YOU BUY CHILI -POWDER AT A MEXICAN GROCERY OR SPICE SHOP, BE SURE TO GET THE MILD VERSION. THE.MEDIUM AND HOT VERSIONS MAY MAKE THE CHILI TOO HOT FOR ANYONE'S TASTE. ALSO, THE EXTRA SPICES MODIFY THE EFFECTS OF THOSE IN THIS RECIPE. IF YOU MUST USE POWDER, TRY TO FIND GEBHARDT'S AND JIMENEZ

5. HEAT A LARGE CAST IRON SKILLET, DUTCH OVEN OR STEW POT. ADD THE MEAT AND STIR QUICKLY TO SEAR IT UNTIL IT ALL TURNS GRAY.

6. ADD ALL OF THE ONION, ABOUT 3/4 OF THE GARLIC AND A BOTTLE OF CERVEZA (DOS EQUIS OR ANOTHER DARK BEER). HAVE ONE YOURSELF. SIMMER UNTIL THE ONION AND GARLIC ARE TRANSPARENT.

7. ADD THE TOMATO PASTE AND ANOTHER BOTTLE OF BEER. MIX WELL.

8. STIR IN ABOUT 3/4 OF THE SPICE MIXTURE AND 3/4 OF THE CILANTRO IF YOU HAVE IT.. ADD ANOTHER BOTTLE OF BEER IF THE CHILI IS TOO THICK. FOR NOW, IT SHOULD BE SORT OF THIN TO ENSURE THE SPICES ARE BLENDED WELL--DONE BEST WITH A WHISK.

9. ADJUST THE HEAT SO THAT THE CHILI BUBBLES BUT DOESN'T SCORCH. COVER THE POT AND SIP ON ANOTHER BEER. STIR FREQUENTLY TO HAVE AN EXCUSE TO TASTE THE CHILI WHILE IT COOKS DOWN TO THE PROPER THICKNESS. (YOU CAN USE A CROCK POT, IF YOU HAVE THE TIME, AT THIS STAGE IN THE GAME)

10. ABOUT 20-30 MINUTES BEFORE SERVING TIME, ADD THE REST OF THE SPICES, GARLIC AND CILANTRO; STIR THOROUGHLY. THIS GIVES THE CHILI A GREAT BURST WHEN YOU EAT IT.

11. ADD THE CAYENNE PEPPER.

****WARNING*** CAYENNE PEPPER IS VERY HOT AND CAN RUIN YOUR CHILI IF YOU OVERDO IT. I SUGGEST YOU START WITH NO MORE THAN 1/4 TO 1/2 TEASPOON. STIR IT IN WELL, TASTE IT AND ADD MORE IF DESIRED. REMEMBER, YOU CAN PUT MORE IN BUT YOU CAN’T TAKE IT OUT.

ADD A LITTLE_MORE_BEER IF THE CHILI IS TOO THICK – 1/4 TO 1/2 CUP.

GO EASY ON IT SINCE, REAL CHILIE IS SUPPOSED TO BE THICK, THICK, THICK.

DISCLAIMER:

IF YOU PUT BEANS, POTATOES, CARROTS, CELERY, BELL PEPPERS, PASTA OR ANY OTHER CONTAMINANTS IN YOUR CHILI, USING THIS RECIPE CONSTITUTES YOUR EXPRESS AGREEMENT TO ADVISE ALL WHO EAT YOUR ABERRATION THAT NONE OF THE ADDITIONAL ITEMS WERE LISTED IN THIS ORIGINAL RECIPE)

FOR....................................... …...

REAL...........................................

TEXAS...........................................

CHILI!